COMING SOON!! Revamped Web Site

SIHW_FB Cover-06We love you being here. Thanks for checking us out.

Currently our site is under major reconstruction. Don’t worry- we will be back bigger and better than ever, offering everything survivors (and those who love them) need!

We promise three things. Confidence. Patience. The truth.

Safe In Harm’s Way is a multi-pronged attack on domestic violence abuse by doing three things:

  1. Highlighting the stories of survivors:We will follow one woman through her entire escape from domestic abuse. From the first discovery of horrific abuse, through leaving and thriving. 
    • What did she do to cope? 
    • How did she escape? 
    • What did she do to heal? 
    • We have many men and women lined up to share their stories. Our hope is that someone, anyone, any loved one-  can recognize themselves, or someone they love, in the presentation and escape. Leave Thrive.
  2. Provide resources in a one stop shop. Survivors have spent their life with an abuser, slowly being dismantled from the inside out. Most times not even realizing what has been done to them until it’s too late and they are a shell of their former self. Survivors can’t even speak their own name, much less remember how the internet works and start to seek help. Safe| In Harm’s way will be the only place they have to go.We will have links to resources available. 
    • Want to find out where shelters are in your area? BOOM! We got you. Pin drop your city, and we will tell you safe places to live plus how to get a restraining order in your county. 
    • We will offer authors we love who are doing great work for survivors or write such funny books, you will laugh for the first time in a long time. Laughter heals, honey! Reset your brain, laugh, pick yourself up off the floor, and take a tiny step forward. Repeat.
    • Music is covered, too. Music soothes and re-sets your brain into a more receptive and positive place. We will offer suggestions and are open to hear about your favorite music, too.  
    • What else do you need? We have the resources in one place. And, if we don’t, tell us and we will do the homework to make sure it’s included.
  3. Hold perpetrators accountable both personally and professionally:Unless women and men survivors start talking about the abuse, perpetrators keep on inflicting pain. The best way we have found is to have confidence and speak the truth. Are you afraid that sounds too mean? Well- being thrown against a table and spit at in front of your friends is mean, too. The best and most perfect defense against being mean is the TRUTH, and having the patience and calm, confident manner to speak it. We will tell you how.
    • The second component for holding perpetrators accountable is our Corporate Training Program. We have a smart group of people on our team. They have master’s degrees and advanced training in how to help corporations with HR issues that become front page news. 
    • Safe In Harm’s Way Training is a S Corporation, LLC. We have developed training and information that can be personalized and tailored for any organization.  Using true case studies we will shine a light and help implement strategies that protect company reputation and profits. When an abuser uses company time and company owned resources to inflict abuse- there is a negative financial and reputation impact on the employer. We will offer training for employers to use and “sniff out” employees who inflict abuse.

We are excited for you to get to know us on this journey. Confidence. Patience. The truth. We will use this simple mission statement to eradicate domestic abuse and hold perpetrators accountable- both personally and professionally.

Take our hand, let’s change the world.

Who is Safe In Harm’s Way?

Who We Are? Let us explain, please.

Hello! Safe In Harm’s Way is an international organization working with abuse survivors across the world. The US efforts are a pending non-profit 501 (c)(3) platform with fiscal sponsorship from the Foundation4 Domestic Violence Prevention.

Our efforts will create an ever-expanding web of goodness for survivors and those they love. In so doing, we will create platinum level lives and change the world. What is a platinum level life? A life where only honest people, best experiences and fabulous events are allowed to quickly and easily exist in your world. There is no shrinking from your brilliant and worthy self any longer. You will thrive. You will succeed. Life will evolve into a series of escalating events that bring about peace, safety and financial stability.

Does it sound big? YES! But it is a life meant for survivors.

Additionally, we will offer corporate training enabling employers to discover abusers who use company resources to issue abuse- thus compromising corporate integrity, reputation, safety and profits. This is a $8 billion problem for employers, and we intend to solve the problem, plus hold perpetrators accountable both personally and professionally. Join us! Life is better in the “after” of abuse.

The Safe In Harm’s Way has a dedicated mission to accomplish these goals.

How we work!

We promise three things. Confidence. Patience. The truth.

Safe| In Harm’s Way is a multi-pronged attack on domestic violence by doing three things:

  1. Highlighting the stories of survivors: We will follow one woman through her entire escape from domestic abuse. From the first discovery of horrific abuse, through leaving and thriving.
  • What did she/he do to cope?
  • How did she/he escape?
  • What did she/he do to heal?
  • We have many men and women lined up to share their stories. Our hope is someone, anyone, any loved one- will recognize themselves, or someone they love, in the presentation and escape. Leave. Thrive.
  1. Provide resources in a one stop shop. Survivors have spent their life with an abuser, slowly being dismantled from the inside out. Most times not even realizing what has been done to them until it’s too late and they are a shell of their former self. Survivors can’t even speak their own name, much less remember how the internet works and start to seek help. Safe| In Harm’s way will be the only place they have to go. We will have links to resources available.
  • Want to find out where shelters are in your area? BOOM! We got you. Pin drop your city, and we will tell you safe places to live plus how to get a restraining order in your county.
  • We will offer authors we love who are doing great work for survivors or write such funny books, you will laugh for the first time in a long time. Laughter heals, honey! Reset your brain, laugh, pick yourself up off the floor, and take a tiny step forward. Repeat.
  • Music is covered, too. Music soothes and re-sets your brain into a more receptive and positive place. We will offer suggestions and are open to hear about your favorite music, too.
  • What else do you need? We have the resources in one place. And, if we don’t, tell us and we will do the homework to make sure it’s included.
  1. Hold perpetrators accountable both personally and professionally: Unless women and men survivors start talking about the abuse, perpetrators keep on inflicting pain. The best way we have found is to have confidence and speak the truth. Are you afraid that sounds too mean? Well- being thrown against a table and spit at in front of your friends is mean, too. The best and most perfect defense against being mean is the TRUTH, and having the patience and calm, confident manner to speak it. We will tell you how.
  • The second component for holding perpetrators accountable is our Corporate Training Program. We have a smart group of people on our team. They have master’s degrees and advanced training in how to help corporations with HR issues that become front page news.
  • Safe| In Harm’s Way Training is a S Corporation, LLC. We have developed training and information that can be personalized and tailored for any organization.  Using true case studies, we will shine a light and help implement strategies that protect company reputation and profits. When an abuser uses company time and company owned resources to inflict abuse- there is a negative financial and reputation impact on the employer. We will offer training for employers to use and “sniff out” employees who inflict abuse.

We are excited for you to get to know us on this journey.

SIHW Project Work!

Confidence. Patience. The truth. We will use this simple mission statement to eradicate domestic abuse and hold perpetrators accountable- both personally and professionally.

Our immediate project work will be to overhaul and implement our website into an interactive platform to accomplish our mission, plus collateral and signage/displays for our many speaking engagements with colleges, organizations and employers.

This project work is estimated to cost $27,000 and our work will be overseen by Digital Lagoon in Kansas City, MO. The project is estimated to be completed by Summer 2020.

Intentionally Fearless: The Liberation of Maya Jane Clark, Chapter Thirteen, Waterproof Mascara on a Really Bad Day

Do you need to follow Maya Jane Clark’s story from the beginning? Start Intentionally Fearless: The Liberation of Maya Jane Clark here!

(Trigger warnings: Homelessness, anxiety, multiple affairs and sex partners)


Janey:

So, here is what my life has become, honey. I attend group therapy at the local battered women’s shelter and weekly individual therapy with a great counselor. I’ve started putting Outlook calendar reminders in my iPhone; affirmations that pop up to remind me all day long and through the night (I rarely sleep) just how lucky I am and just how strong I am. Really, I thought this was a stupid idea when a Safe| In Harm’s Way team member suggested it. Really stupid. Turns out, it’s smart. I think everyone should do it.

My current favorite comes up at 5:05 pm every day. It is a text message from my cousin Tabitha. Tabitha is quite a bit older than me and lives on the other side of the world. Tabitha, has no idea what happened but reached out because my Facebook page looked different. (There will also be an essay about how to delete a decade of history from Facebook. It will take an entire weekend, but it will be a step by step process that will allow anyone to cut my entire weekend time into about four hours.) Anyway, Tabitha sent this to me one day:

You know that saying? God works in strange ways? It’s true. He knows just what we need at the exact time we need it. Today our connecting was meant for you. You Have lots on your mind with life that may seems out of your control. I don’t know what’s going on nor do I need to know but life is full of things we cannot control. Those things that seem to discourage us can be used to build character and strength as hard as it seems at the time. Also, event sin life (good or bad) can be used to help others because we know their hurts and understand. Nothing happens that god cannot change not us as much we we may try, but God can change them. He then takes that very thing and uses it to bring glory to Him in His perfect timing. I don’t know what you are feeling but I do know “you” and you are powerful, strong, beautiful, loving, kind and used by God. We have p purpose on this earth and God sees you right where you are. Look up because these trials her eon earth serve a purpose that will not only bring you joy but bring Him all the glory. You are used by God and He won’t let go of your hand.

Reading that every day at 3:05 pm helps. A lot. So does my 10:15 pm by Ronda Rousey: “I am not a do-nothing BITCH!”

I’ve turned over relevant information to the FBI. It took about 14 phone calls to reach the right person. He has the same name as my youngest child’s best friend in grade school, which I took as a good sign. The one thing that has really caught the FBI’s attention is the incest porn sites I found on Marc’s computer.

Plus, as most good humans are, they are really disgusted by him offering me up for sex with strangers without my knowledge or consent. Turns out- folks don’t think that’s cool, and if they can find any evidence where he offered me for trade or money then it’s human trafficking, and they can prosecute. They’re looking for anything they can gather.

My kids and I have a new saying which goes like this, “You’re never allowed to say ‘it can’t get any worse’.” In the Maya Jane family, you better not slip up and say it or you face a wave of anger and shouting from all present.

The last time my middle child, Austin, uttered the words, I received documentation of Marc texting me about how he was a really good man, with just a couple tiny flaws……..at the exact time he was looking up incest related porn on his computer. There’s my first-born status at work again! Really, it’s kinda my fault. I shouldn’t have started comparing Marc’s times and dates of texts to his computer search history.

75% my bad. 25% Austin.

Shortly after that, I messed up and said the forbidden words to my friend Misty, and wouldn’t you know it? Pictures, text messages and email documentation of Marc’s long standing sexual relationship with a male family friend, Mr. James Neighbors. How many times Mr. James Neighbors had been in my own home? Came to family dinners and events? Hung out with my kids? How many times had we all gone to dinner and Marc and Mr. Neighbors exchange sexually charged text messages back and forth to each other? Little did I know, and little did Mrs. Neighbors know, that her husband and my boyfriend had been having a sexual relationship for years. Years!

Marc and Mr. James Neighbors. Together. With other women. With other men. Secret sex groups. Apparently, they both think they’re Tom Cruise circa 1999, but without a Nicole Kidman co-star as a partner. Again, dear friend, let me connect some dots for you to have the picture really pop.

I will pose a question. Who have they really angered in their secret sex group that one (maybe more, it’s hard to tell) member has risked taking pictures and SENDING THEM TO THE WIFE?

What have they done in their tiny secret world that one (maybe more, it’s hard to tell) member would out them and risk their own status within the secret sex group? Could it be a bad herpes outbreak? Could it be bad sex? Could it be their physique doesn’t live up to Mr. Cruise. We may never know, but the now former wife and I just keep hoping to be fed additional information via good ol’ Facebook messenger and email.

How does anyone process this life altering event and move forward? You don’t. At least in my experience you fester, and cry and rot from the inside out.

Life became a routine far different than I ever imagined it would be. I am lucky since I work from home and spend other days traveling. It takes me about six full weeks to make my rounds to every account across six states. Consequently, when I didn’t have a home, I just washed (sometimes, honestly……not a lot of washing going on) the same dress and wore it every day. I would drive around six states calling on accounts and in between those visits I would have to pull over my car and sob.

I’d have to pull over to the shoulder of highways because I couldn’t breathe. I would be broken out in hives. I’d think to myself, “How could my doctor release me to drive? Surely, my heart beating so fast is going to kill me and I will drive my car into a ditch.” I’d drive to the nearest hospital and sit in the parking lot willing my heart to stop racing, but hoping that if I did die I would be found in an ER parking lot. Once I could calm down, I’d re-apply my mascara and start to the next account.

Repeat. Every. Hour. All day long.

A three day meeting with my boss meant I would have to unpack all my personal belongings from the car and into a storage unit so he wouldn’t know I was living in my car. Oh! And find two more dresses to wear so I didn’t wear the same thing every day while with him. I was thrilled when I had to attend a week long mandatory training class. Out of town for a full seven days with my own bed every night in my own room.; felt like a slice of heaven! Plus, I could expense meals and have my own fridge to keep leftovers. WOW! That week was an oasis in the insanity of my life. Where was the good man, Marc, during this time? In our 6,000 square foot house with all the food he wanted and an open bed for his guests to come and “play.”

I’ve learned a few things about what it feels like to not have a home, live in your car, or seek out daily shelter. The damage that does to a person’s soul I think changes their DNA. I now operate with a hum of uncertainty. What will happen next and where will my life take me? Constant anxiety. I went through a phase where I overate all the time when I was in my new home. I finally figured out I was SCARED. Where and when could I eat again? I had to eat a lot now because what if I sleep in my car (no, wait! I have a bed now) and got hungry. Where would I go? Start the car and hit a Taco Bell? The fear and painful struggle of being homeless was hard to shake off. I still work hard to breath deep and know I have a bed and I have a home. Simple things I never knew could so easily be taken away from me.

What else is left over from those times? I now make sure to always carry cash in my purse. I don’t care why someone stands on the side of the road asking for money- I know what that feels like; not to know where you will sleep and to be hungry and fear where to go. You need $10? BOOM! It’s yours. No questions asked. Please take care of yourself.

Nights consisted of trying to decide where I was going to sleep. A few times it was my car for naps since I feared Marc could find me if I repeated the same friend’s couch/bed too often.

I would hit the closest grocery store or gas station and get a bag of tortilla chips and vodka, extra limes. I’d decide which friend I’d ask to house me, where my bed was for the night, and arrive on the doorstep with all my belongings still packed in the car. I always hated to impose so I’d immediately climb on a bed or couch and drink until I fell asleep. I was going through a couple Xanax a night. On weekends, I would stay in bed from Friday night until Monday morning whenever I could. This pattern lasted about 10 weeks until the beautiful Julie at my ultimate new home called to tell me she had done a bit of rearranging and found me a place to stay.

Now I could start to create a home for myself and the kids. It was wonderful. We moved in on Mother’s Day and the kids presented me with a wall mounted picture proclaiming, “This place is safe.” Now I could get drunk every night in the safety and privacy of my own home.

I have discovered this is the easiest thing to do. The easiest choice is to stay in bed. The easiest choice is to wear the same dress every day and not shower. The easiest choice is to cry and sob and rail at the world in complete and total fear. The harder choice is to make changes that require you to do one small thing differently a day. Maybe every other day. But something different than chips and queso. I only decided to make these changes after a visit to another city and a good cry with my friend, Marcie.

Best,

Maya

Blog



SOUNDTRACK:

Noah Kahan- Mess

And I would prove
Myself wrong
That all along the
Problem was me
With all my bitterness gone
Happy, I’d be

Join and follow the Maya Jane Clark playlist on Spotify!

Intentionally Fearless: The Liberation of Maya Jane Clark, Chapter Twelve, Eight Olives In

Do you need to follow Maya Jane Clark’s story from the beginning? Start Intentionally Fearless: The Liberation of Maya Jane Clark here!


Hey, fellow Safe| In Harm’s Way travelers! It’s me. Maya Jane. Gotta take a break, my dears. I’m done with Janey’s Letter for now. I can’t. I just can’t.

Gotta Take a Break, Folks, I’m About Eight Olives In: NEED A VODKA REFRESHER NOW!

So……I’ve been drinking. I’m more than a little tipsy right about now. Enough that if I was walking, I’m sure I’d trip and break my glasses and tear my jeans at the right knee. Tipsy plus.**

Can’t stand the taste of red wine, so I’ve gone back to the “whooodie” as my old friend once called it. Vodka. Tito’s is my preference, olive juice dirty and blue cheese stuffed olives. Plus, fun twirly sticks. I have to stick the olives on a fun twirly stick I picked up at the Tuesday Morning store. Gosh, I love that store. I also love TJ Maxx. Sometimes I hit both and just say I’m going to the Tuesday Maxx store. They have really cool twirly sticks for my dirty martinis.

Gotta tell you- THIS SUCKS!!

Cutting and pasting the letter to Janey really sucks. It hurts me down to my soul. Several years out and I ache. Back to the vomiting. Back to hives. I am suddenly reminded of Soul 2 Soul. Does anyone remember that song?

Soul II Soul- Back To Life

 

What if those beautiful women were singing “back to the vomit-ing. back to the hives, baby”? I think they’re singing that to me, actually. UGH!! Somebody give me a darn drink.

What hurts most? Not the want of Marc. Not the missing of Marc. Mostly, I just laugh at the memory of him; not his actions- I will never laugh at the 18++ (admitted to by Marc) years of soul-puss oozing actions. But I laugh at how pathetic and disgusting he seems to me now. How un-intelligent and weird- really weird, he seems to be in hindsight. He isn’t awkward, as self claimed, but full on WEIRD. Why did I stay? My Goodness! Why Didn’t I Leave? The Ugly Truth about Abuse Grooming

So why the “back to the vomit-ing. back to the hives, baby”?

It is the complete and total disregard of my health and safety from a man who constantly looked me in the eyes, held my face and proclaimed how much he loved me. Plus, we would often talk about how gross our subdivision friend, Mr. James Neighbors was. How sickening and what a liar he seemed to be. Turns out- Marc had a sexual relationship with him. OH MY GOD! I’m going to vomit again, I just know it.

All the while Marc was utilizing his penis with a variety of any other people he could find. Any. Person. In my bed. MY BED!! I brought that bed to the relationship and he left his body fluids, and the fluids of strangers (and one very well loved Mr. James Neighbors)  in that bed for me to unknowingly sleep in the same sheets. The same unwashed sheets. Que the vomit. This Tito’s ain’t staying down, man!!

All the while he was allowing complete strangers (and one very well loved Mr. James Neighbors) into my life and the lives of my children- exposing us to danger at every second of every minute of every day of every year; all by his own admission. And we were dumb and clueless and completely in love with this good man named Marc the entire time of exposure.

Janey now constantly reminds me that the most intense moments of danger, were when WE DIDN’T KNOW. Now we know. Now we are aware and trying not to live in fear. Now we work hard to live in a state of heightened caution (read: scared, but not constantly verbalizing we are scared, so as not to further scare ourselves) as our therapist would say.

I’m giving you a break from the letter because I need a break from the letter. If you were here, I’d make you a fabulous drink (I’m like my mother- you’d get a very heavy pour of the vodka) and let you pick out your own twirly stick. Heck, I’d let you pick out as many as you want; fill the martini glass with twirly sticks. I will pick up more at the Tuesday Maxx along with the 28 dog toys that seem to jump in my cart every trip.

Take care of yourself friends. Take a break and a bath and pour yourself a drink. Believe me- it gets even worse from here.

Best,

Maya

Intentionally Fearless: The Liberation of Maya Jane Clark, Chapter Thirteen, Waterproof Mascara on a Really Bad Day


SOUNDTRACK:

You know what else Soul 2 Soul preaches in this song? The lyrics below…..so, as always, within the vomit and hives is inspiration.

Keep on movin’

Keep on movin’

Don’t stop, no

**article edited when sober to correct spelling and grammar errors.

Wanna Listen? Soul II Soul- Back To Life

Join and follow the Maya Jane Clark playlist on Spotify!

 

Intentionally Fearless: The Liberation of Maya Jane Clark, Chapter Eleven, Worse. Worse. Worse.

Do you need to follow Maya Jane Clark’s story from the beginning? Start Intentionally Fearless: The Liberation of Maya Jane Clark here!


(Trigger warnings: using drugs to incapacitate people for possible sexual assault) )


Janey:

Worse. Worse. Worse. Worst yet (if there even is a worst), I have documentation that he has posted my name and information on Craigslist when we would go out on dates or I would travel by myself…….locations, times, and my picture so that others could come and check me out- his “hot girlfriend”.

I greatly fear what his motives were here, as noted in my concerns above. He mentions being able “to facilitate and act on the discussions of what could be done” to me. Each message to people includes the words, “My girlfriend has no idea I’m doing this”.

That statement is probably one of three truths he spoke in ten years.

I had no idea I was being set up and being watched. I had no idea Marc was leading this life and setting me up for god knows what- giving strangers on Craigslist access to me (where we lived, pictures, what my profession was, where we would be on date nights) all without my knowledge and all without my consent.

Think about this for a minute. His actions were not something I knew about, nor wanted to participate in what he is suggesting. Again- CONNECT THE DOTS! So, I wonder how he was going to pull this off. Drug me? I could have been stalked, harmed, killed by strangers from his actions. I don’t know if the plan was to drug me and rape me or what he was trying to “facilitate”.

I travel a lot for work. I couldn’t figure out why I would have to get security to walk me to my room because another patron wouldn’t leave me alone at the bar. I would have to change rooms when people would call my room without me knowing who they were. I really thought the world had become an evil and vile place. I spent a lot of time yelling at hotel staff for giving out my information to strangers- all with their firm denial they had done so. Little did I know that the man I loved was giving out all my pertinent travel details to “facilitate” some unknown action.

Also, there is a date night I can’t remember. A pretty big date night where we sat in a suite for a huge public event. I don’t remember a thing. In fact, I never knew we even went until he mentioned it and I had to admit I didn’t know anything about it. I thought he was joking with me. He actually spewed out the truth, and then HE TOLD ME HE WAS JOKING WITH ME!! I remember telling him the joke was weird and stupid and how did he even think this was a joke. Never thought anymore about it until I found a site on Craigslist for “bring by your incapacitated girlfriend and watch while I FUCK her”.

Think about that for a minute…..there is a club where people are encouraged to bring by their incapacitated loved one and watch them be raped by a stranger. And Marc received email updates about the group activities.

I’m beginning to wonder how far his sickness has extended to me. I have no memory. I have no proof of his actions. Just the knowledge I don’t remember an entire event, his telling me about it and the Craigslist sites he posted to. Gives me panic attacks. Tonight I talked to a man about hiring a private detective to try and uncover additional secrets. This is mixed with a heavy amount of “do I want to know?”

But hold on to your hat……it gets worse. Right before all this, I was hospitalized with serious health issues. I could not be revived when my body stopped working and wouldn’t re-start. (I have a great story for another time, about my argument with a leather clad St. Peter who would not let me in to the fabulous party I could see and hear behind this velvet-roped opening.)

Where was my fiancé right after this happened? He left within 45 minutes. He left me alone in the hospital, having just died. Had to get home to his child. The child is 18. He had to get home to make sure his offspring was fed and got to bed.  Did you catch the age- EIGHTEEN!!!!! The kid stays by himself and eats just fine when we travel FOR DAYS ON END. The kid spends plenty of time BY HIMSELF. Guess what?

His offspring wasn’t even at our home the night I died.

There was, however, activity in and out of our house all night caught on the security system. The video as too grainy, and I’m left wondering who all he texted to meet at our home for sex and drugs once he knew I was going to be admitted to the hospital.

Honey- It hasn’t been a good year, which is THE understatement of the year.

Best,

Maya

Intentionally Fearless: The Liberation of Maya Jane Clark, Chapter Twelve, Eight Olives In



SOUNDTRACK:

I don’t know what I don’t know

So I kick my shoes off and run

Kick my shoes off and run

Kick my shoes off and run

Kick my shoes off and run

 

Sir Sly- & Run

Intentionally Fearless: The Liberation of Maya Jane Clark, Chapter Ten, Nine Times the Video Surveillance Camera Came in Handy

Do you need to follow Maya Jane Clark’s story from the beginning? Start the Intentionally Fearless: The Liberation of Maya Jane Clark here!


Janey:

What. Is. Up?

I’m beginning to wonder how far his sickness has extended to me. I have no memory. I have no proof of his actions. Just the knowledge I don’t remember an entire event, his telling me about it and the Craigslist sites he posted to. Gives me panic attacks. Tonight I talked to a man about hiring a private detective to try and uncover additional secrets. This is mixed with a heavy amount of “do I want to know?”

But hold on to your hat……it gets worse. Right before all this, I was hospitalized with serious health issues. I could not be revived when my body stopped working and wouldn’t re-start. (I have a great story for another time, about my argument with a leather clad St. Peter who would not let me in to the fabulous party I could see and hear behind this velvet-roped opening.)

Where was my fiancé, Marc, right after this happened? He left within 45 minutes. He left me alone in the hospital, having just died. Had to get home to his child. The child is 18. He had to get home to make sure his offspring was fed and got to bed.  Did you catch the age- EIGHTEEN!!!!! The kid stays by himself and eats just fine when we travel FOR DAYS ON END. The kid spends plenty of time BY HIMSELF. Guess what?

His offspring wasn’t even at our home the night I died.

There was, however, activity in and out of our house all night caught on the security system. The video as too grainy, and I’m left wondering who all he texted to meet at our home for sex and drugs once he knew I was going to be admitted to the hospital.


Want to know more? Safe in Harm’s way will be releasing book chapters and excerpts from “Liberation of Maya Jane Clark” by Caroline Hammond.

Intentionally Fearless: The Liberation of Maya Jane Clark, Chapter Ten, Worse. Worse. Worse.



SOUNDTRACK:

I don’t know what I don’t know

So I kick my shoes off and run

Kick my shoes off and run

Kick my shoes off and run

Kick my shoes off and run

 

Sir Sly- & Run

Join and follow the Maya Jane Clark playlist on Spotify!

 

 

Intentionally Fearless: The Liberation of Maya Jane Clark, Chapter Nine, Meeting Marc

(Trigger warning: Cursing, Sexual descriptions, Nudity descriptions)

Do you need to follow Maya Jane Clark’s story from the beginning? Start here with the Age Verification: The Liberation of Maya Jane Clark!


Hey, Janey-Jane!

What’s up? You asked about how I met Marc, and the very obvious question of how did I not know. Ouch! Honestly. That one always hurts. You’re not the first to ask it and won’t be the last. I don’t think the pain of hearing that question will ever go away. Sooooo………. Here you go, chicka!

Marc and I met many moons prior to our romance beginning.

After about the mid-1980’s we really didn’t talk at all. Then, God bless Mark Zuckerburg, Facebook was created. In late 2000, post-divorce for both of us, we reconnected. Dated about two years before moving in together. Purchased a home together and created a life where we blended families and worked hard to create an environment where our children felt safe. Janey, it really was a great life.

Sure, there were issues with blending families. We faced issues with former spouses and in jobs where we both traveled. I thought our life was a dream. Friends commented that we were the “best couple ever.” I had 6 scrapbooks filled with tickets and pictures and diaries written by me and by Marc of what we were feeling and doing in our life for every month, from the time we started dating until the time I left. (Well, I did have them. After I left him, Marc tore up every picture, through the center of my face, and trashed the scrapbooks. I found them all destroyed in the trash when I went to the house to get more of my belongings.)

Through it all we had fabulous adventures and lots of sex and lots of love. I am a girl who loves sex. Loves it! I would have gladly experienced our sex every day. The smells, tastes, sound and scent of him thrilled me. Pretty nice slice of heaven for me. I thought our life was a dream. Every night when I was home and not traveling (Not exaggerating. Every.) we would fall asleep entwined like tired wrestlers. In the middle of the night, he’d reach for me and fall back asleep holding my hand or wrapping his feet over mine. Beautiful. I was the luckiest girl in the world! We had planned on getting married. We were to elope. All was planned, booked, ring given, set to go. How did I not know about his secret life? He worked really, really hard to keep it secret. And, I loved him desperately. I wouldn’t have any reason to think he wasn’t completely devoted to me.

Yeah, so no wedding. All cancelled. Marc and I did not get married.

One evening, I was made aware that Marc had cheated on me the entire time of our relationship with very few moments of monogamy, in the years we were together. That night, after a wine tasting, home to get naked, climb in bed, and make love, Marc casually said to me, “Baby, don’t get mad at me. I think you’re going to be mad at me. I’ve done something bad. Really bad.” Casually.

His casual reference to his actions, gave way to pretty significant actions, that included several days of email exchanges with another couple on Craigslist. It wasn’t about selling our car, which I was trying to get rid of for a few thousand dollars. No haggling of price for our family car. Nope. Nothing like that at all.

This email conversation was about inviting them to have sex with us. Hmmmmm……What?!?!? So, you think I might be mad over you inviting another couple into our bed? I demanded to see the email exchange. Marc provided our picture. What I did for a living. Where we lived. My name. “No, love, I’m not mad. I’m LIVID and you can get out of my house,” was what I screamed through my instant tears.

His response was, “Great! See, I knew you’d be mad. Now I guess we’ll have to stay up all night talking about how mad you are.”

I can’t explain the calm that came over me, at that very moment. I remember it so clearly. It was as if there was a big and otherworldly whisper, “Shhhhhhh. Be quiet. Be still.” I remember turning around as if someone had actually whispered those five words in my right ear.

It was pure fear. Fear that I knew nothing about the man I had just been intimate with; intimacy that was still wet on my skin. (Had he really, not five minutes earlier, told me that touching me and making love to me was an intensity and love that could never be duplicated? I could still smell his scent and sweat in my hair.)

In fact, I didn’t know anything about the man I had been monogamous with for a decade. I tried not to shake as I climbed back in bed. I told him that we could discuss everything in the morning and when I rolled onto my right side, he spooned me and quickly fell asleep. I remember silently crying and hoping my pillow didn’t get so wet, he would notice. I prayed to my Grandma and any deceased friend to please keep me awake until he fell asleep. And, when he did fall asleep and stayed soundly on my side of the bed, I quietly untangled myself and grabbed his still open computer off the nightstand.

Now I am not good with a Mac computer. I don’t use a Mac computer and my hands were shaking as it was, plus I kept having to run to the bathroom to vomit. Plus, I’m afraid he will wake up. Plus, I forgot to grab my bathrobe, and am too afraid to wake him by going back into our bedroom. So, I am trying to figure out the Mac, and hoping no kids come out at 2 am to find me naked and sobbing over an open computer.

What did I discover? I have lengthy email evidence of Marc having sex with random strangers whom he met from over seven different “cheating” sites. According to what I’ve read, and Marc’s own admissions, Marc even invited other people into our home exposing the safe place I created to risk not only physically, but safety wise as well, since these were people he had never met before. The majority of the women (I would find out months later, that his indiscretions included men ) were from Craigslist. CRAIGSLIST!!!! Where people get shot and killed trying to buy a car or property or objects because they aren’t who they say they are.

Where several serial killers used Craigslist to track and kill certain types of people based on their pictures. SUPER DANGEROUS!!!!!!! It’s filled with prostitutes and drug dealers. These are complete and total strangers that Marc admits to conversing with daily on Craigslist, inviting them to our home, in my absence, to have sex.

Sick. I’m pretty open sexually from the standpoint of what others do is their business, if everyone consents. Go for it! But, Craigslist is a level of disgust that is pretty pathetic. I never knew. If you go on Craigslist personals under casual encounters (heck, check out any city, and you’ll get a glimpse of Marc’s (admitted to) daily life.)

Scares the heck out of me.

And, really, if you’re going to post a nudie, can you at least wash the grease from your hands? Or take your miss-matched socks off? Or maybe, just maybe, not have your cat on the bed with you and dirty laundry.

Now it took a good 6 weeks of denial and blame from Marc; regardless of the black and white evidence that came from his computer. It seems the good man was intent on blaming our neighbors, the FBI, my former husband, his former wife, everyone in the whole wide world who was jealous of us, and most definitely even the CEO of his company, for setting him up to ruin our true and beautiful love.

He never could explain why he invited people into our bedroom for sex. He knows I would never have agreed to that. How in the world was he going to make that happen?!??!?

The recorded conversations, email and text messages would be comical to read and listen to now, if not for the sadness and tragic mania in his voice and words. Ultimately, Marc admitted to me DAILY and multiple postings to Craigslist. He has exposed us all  to danger. He holds a high level position within his company and is very involved with multiple tenants of the business and industry. He knows better.

There are news stories over people being shot by buying a car on Craig’s List where we live. A car!! And he arranged to have sex with people from this site?!?!? He gave out his work cell phone number to all these people and the number can be traced back to his work! All the Craigslist postings were done on his work computer. He gave out his picture easily and often- thus exposing himself and consequently all my family.

And. His. Employer. 

This is a perfect example of people not connecting the dots, as I referenced above; not taking the next steps of what exactly those kinds of actions could mean to everyone who lives in the same house with an adulterer who uses the internet to secure his next partner. His work cell phone that he gave to people? Took me less than 60 seconds to do a reverse Google (Who makes Google? God bless them, too.) look up and BOOM! The cell phone is issued to HIS COMPANY. Anyone can look up HIS COMPANY on LinkedIn and search for Marc and because he gave out his picture to these folks……BOOM! Wow- I’m having casual and unprotected sex with the big-wig of a major company.

Or, the jealous and enraged partner who discovers the indiscretion, now knows exactly who their partner engages with. Take another two minutes and via the white pages.com site, everyone knows where exactly Marc lives. What if they came back when I was there? What if I was by myself? What if the kids were there by themselves? What if they brought family members or jealous husbands, wives, partners, etc to harm us?

WHAT IF THESE PEOPLE WEREN’T EVEN WHO THEY CLAIMED TO BE?

Marc admits to me he would also meet in the woman’s home or hotels when he traveled. The events match to when I was out of town for work or personal, or he traveled.

Now we were having sex 4-5 times a week and he exposed me to such disease. I will find out this afternoon about my six month check-up. But think about THESE dots to connect.

Marc knows he has sexually transmitted diseases. He admitted. He knows!

With Craigslist, or Adult Friend Finders, or Ashley Maddison all the user has to do is change their location and up pops a host of people in any city across the country, ready and willing to “play” or “host” (two words that take on an entirely different meaning in my world now, and trigger panic attacks).

Again, maybe because I am a first born or a glutton for punishment, but I’ve gone back through over ten years of the good man’s work travels. I counted about 22 cities where he traveled by himself. Remember- he has admitted to daily postings and every time he traveled. 22 cities. Lots of people he could have met, exposed to STDs, who went back home and exposed their unsuspecting partners to STDs, too. It is staggering to think about the destruction one man has extended across the country to people and the implosion of their lives, and impact on their children.

Now multiply his actions by the potential of another 449 million users. Sometimes connecting those dots is a little too much for me to comprehend. I break out in huge welts and hives if I sit in that place too long.

Best,

Maya


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Now she knows the truth

She knows just what she’s gotta do

Everybody says you will get just what you’ve given

You wait, you’ll get yours, too.

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