Do you need to follow Maya Jane Clark’s story from the beginning? Start here with the Age Verification: The Liberation of Maya Jane Clark!
There’s no load I can’t hold
Road so rough, this I know
I’ll be there when the light comes in
Tell ’em we’re survivors
Life is a highway
I want to ride it all night long
If you’re going my way
I want to drive it all night long
THIS song. THIS?!?!? Yes. It’s playing in my head; old school time for Tom Cochrane’s “Life is a Highway” circa 1991.
The Liberation of Maya Jane Clark is my story.
And right now it’s this song in my head, with the lyrics above, that I can’t stop playing on repeat. Loud. I’m dancing, too. I paused for 4:20 to dance my personal groove. Honest? I will admit it could be an attempt to avoid publishing these next several installments. (I’m afraid. Really afraid.)
I don’t want to loose you, folks. Remember the previous installments? There will be no tonic added to the vodka. Nothing to water down the truth. Don’t turn away, please. Face it with me and let’s use the information to heal ourselves, others, change the world, etc, etc, etc, etc. All those really important things Safe|In Harm’s way wants to accomplish.
Because it’s about me. Maya.
But it’s hard. There have been two actual months since I last published any chapters. Why? Healing takes time. I want to be honest about that process. I’ve written over 500 articles for this channel over the past few years. However, actually re-living the events and PUTTING IT OUT FOR THE WORLD TO READ can make me avoid clicking on the “publish now” icon. I will send 17 new chat messages to the team before I even type one word.
When that happens, I am thrown back and I can feel the pressure weigh me down. Do you ever feel that way? Like life’s pressures are a 3/4″ bar, and a blacksmith is trying to use high heat and quarter turns to twist the bar around your head, until the force is squishing your face together. Kinda like I used to do- with my hands, in the mirror, back when I was a kid. Remember? And you try and talk, but your lips are one big pucker and speaking makes you giggly because the words sound so silly speaking from your squishy lips. Yea, pressure like that.
Only now, I’m not giggling in the mirror. I’m doing grown up actions. I have outlined my own personal “to do” list format below. Why? Because during the dark moments of healing, this seems to be my regular list. And, since I’m a gal who likes to accomplish a “to do” list”……. man oh man, I’ve become an expert!
HEALING IS HARD TO-DO LIST:
Drink a few bottles of wine
Attend and honestly participate in therapy
Drink too much
Buy too much
Say yes to events and then cancel
Visit your parents who are now in a nursing home
Sneak cigarettes with your BFF
Spend hours on Facebook
Don’t work out
Light candles and incense
Re-arrange your entire home, including move all pictures
Patch holes from above ^^^
Organize every napkin ring holder into separate bins based on time of year and holiday
Laugh, mostly when it’s inappropriate
Eat too much
Order a second order of french fries and add A LOT of salt
Fall in love
Drink almost 8 glasses of full-pour wine when your Dad (Lewy Body Dementia arrived and promptly went full tilt once he found out all about Marc) calls crying because he is so afraid Marc will find you and hurt you
Travel to four different countries
Excel in your job
Suck at your job
Often wonder “did I brush my teeth today?”
Wear your pajamas to brunch and don’t care
Get your international travel TSA Pre-Check
Snuggle in a blanket nest with the man you love and download UberEats (over tip because you’re so happy with this new service!!!)
Play with all the features of the Safe| In Harm’s Way app including colors and fonts and embedding links
Learn the chat feature of the app to contact the team; but don’t respond in a timely manner because you’re not sure how
Connect and re-connect with friends you love
Be overcome with so much gratitude you feel as if you’re the most fucking fortunate person in the world
WOW! Well, look at that. This list has been on repeat now for several years, and the past couple months were no exception. But, look at it. Really, really look at it. There’s a whole lotta good mixed in with the heavy force of healing. Remember that. Apparently, I needed to remember that HUGE!
Do you know what else Tom Cochrane sings over the harmonica notes in the background?
A misunderstanding once but now
We look it in the eye
There was no misunderstanding; Marc knew exactly what he was doing and I knew nothing. Looking it in the eye, Tom? Really? Asshole.
Here we go. To-do list has been completed AGAIN, and it’s time. No hesitation.
Life’s like a road that you travel on
When there’s one day here and the next day gone
Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand
Sometimes you turn your back to the wind
There’s a world outside every darkened door
Where blues won’t haunt you anymore
Where the brave are free and lovers soar
Come ride with me to the distant shore
We won’t hesitate, break down the garden gate
There’s not much time left today